Tuesday, January 16, 2007

Fred

Hello? Who is this? Oh, Hey mainstream trance. Uh... actually I'm busy this Friday. Yea, its this thing for school. Maybe we can hang out some other time... no I'll call you.

Hello? Oh... hows it going mainstream house. Uhhh, no actually this weekend isn't good for me. Yea... sorry bout that, man. Hey, maybe sometime next month we can chill...

Hello? Who is this? Mainstream minimal? How did you get this number?

YES WHAT? Oh... hey mainstream hardstyle. Yea I'm good how are you? This Friday? uh... yea I'm free. Oh yea? Cool. Sounds great. See you then.

My own mash up of Telephones and A Tour of Electronica.

If theres one thing I learned in Holland, its that I love mainstream hardstyle. I love it. I don't care if it's DJ DOPEYZ remix of Every time We Touch, which is nothing more than the acapella sloppily thrown onto a ridiculously heavy kick drum that somehow manages to be out of tune with the vocal (despite the fact thats its the ONLY thing added to the acapella). Its the chromosome-missing simplicity that lures me in. NO matter what the Justin Timberlake vocal does, I know its going to be stomped on by Fred the big fat stupid bass drum. I love Fred.

Its a genre that doesn't hear the criticism thrown at it, because its too busy spinning around in circles punching itself in the head with glee. Not that it ever receives criticism... people who don't like it really couldn't be bothered. They just leave it alone. Like the kid in class who sits in the corner chugging Elmers and chewing on Sharpies.

"Oh... yea thats Fred... we don't talk to him... we just kinda let him do his thing"

I Love Hardstyle.

Oh, and I'm not just talking about mainstream hardstyle. Its all fantastic.

3 comments:

>Jer said...

ew, mainstream?
You should totally listen to more indie stuff like Once I Swallowed A Bear and What Is A Taco and Portugal: The Band.

I heard the lead singer for OISAB is bisexual, son of a senator and has rabies. Now THAT'S cool.

minimill said...

im pretty much that guy you described. i can slag off mainstream house and trance, etc. all i want, but im not gonna say anything about hardstyle. just gonna let him stay in his corner with his yoji dreadlocks and let him eat his crayons.

Ben Kuyper said...

Hahahahhasghahahaha, I laughed out loud many a time reading that.

And as you and me both know it, stupid dancing stupid music is great great.

I'm dying.

K